Vaccinius

Thursday, 26 June 2014

The way it is

At dVerse today, Victoria C. Slotto wants us to make an experimental poem. This is my go at it:

SAFE

hovering innocently
as the sky ............
............... is the water
after the magnificent
treatment of the hot fire

since the
water
always
wants to
be cool


.·: † :·.
I have put a link to this post on the blog hop of "dVerse" | here |.

11 comments:

  1. it is an interesting relationship between fire and water...and full of steam...ha...
    interesting making the water innocent...interesting anders

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    1. that is ok...i think with dada there need not be a message...if there was it would be the debauchery of our modern existence...

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  2. Cool, yes. I like the play of water/fire, hot/cold. Dadaism wants us to connect the disparate which is just what you have done.

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    Replies
    1. I agree in your cvonnection to the disparate- especially in your flow of words

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  3. Natures most promising thing is life and beauty.

    I love your metaphors on this poem. :)

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  4. Here's how I read this, incorporating the title as a noun:

    There is a safe (heavy metal storage unit) hovering above us all, pretending to be as innocent as the sky (light, unobtrusive, "safe"). But at any moment, it could fall on us and crush us because we're not paying attention to its true weight and likelihood of harming us. How many things have we become desensitized to because we numb out and stop noticing the danger around us?

    The next part is a question: "Is the water after (verb) the ...?" In essence, does water want to have what fire has? Does it want to be treated/respected/loved in the same way? So how is fire treated? Well, people gather around it for warmth and to enjoy its beauty, even though it's dangerous and scary too. People do the same with water, but maybe water feels neglected in some way. We always think someone else is being treated better than we are, like we're missing out in some way.

    But water has what it wants ... the temperature it has chosen. It doesn't want to boil. It doesn't want to change forms, from a liquid to a gas. It wants to stay just as it is, yet, for some reason, it still looks on fire with envy.

    This takes me back to the opening; if water would become steam, it would make the air heavy ... like a safe in the sky.

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  5. I'm thinking, fire and sun and sea--a nature/life poem on sunsets.

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  6. I like the ellipsis - allows us to insert our own imagery and interpretation there...

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  7. This was very cool to connect the fire and ice.. way steamy... innocently is such an interesting word to use.. like a cloud

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  8. nice juxtaposition of water and fire..quite the dada way..nicely done

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  9. Even with 'hot fire' (hell fire?) this has a calming feel.

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